Lord King Afton Barr

Male Dwarven Sovereign of the Black Hills


Lord King Afton Barr

Male Dwarven Sovereign of the Black Hills. Fighter/Cleric. Married to Lady Queen Barr. Forger and wielder of Netherforge. Invited to join The Octopus’ Garden.

King Afton is the slayer of the Freeze Miser, the Hag, the Iron Giant, & the Devil’s Doorman.

Possesses the following:

  • Netherforge (though currently misplaced)
  • Greatsword of Invisibility – when grasped, wielder becomes invisible, though the sword does not
  • Belt of the Blue Ox – using it to protect his land from the annual stampede of the blue bulls
  • Kingly Robes
  • Black Hath Teeth
  • Night Hag Heartstone – protects against diseases
  • Boots of Striding – increased movement & jumping
  • Eyeglasses of Comprehension – read any language
  • Backpack of Holding – hold more & weighs less than expected
  • Amulet of Shocking Grasp
  • Ring of Water Walking
  • Talking Mug – detects & neutralizes poison on its contents
  • The Holy Cross
  • Teor’s Helm
  • Ring of Greater Fire Resistance
  • Balzrazak™ Dagger

Yeah, yeah, but don’t be fooled by the smoozer Aladdin. He means well and likes to use lots of big words, which many of us wonder if he really knows what he is saying, but he throws a mean fireball these days so we put up with him. Regardless of how good he makes things sound my beginnings were very humble, very humble indeed. So don’t believe all of his sugar coated nonsense. I am now all of those things he recited ad nauseum but the real story is how I got to be the King of the Black Hills and survived where many better men and women have moved on to the afterlife. Here is that tale.

I started as a young dwarf, full of piss and vinegar in the area known as the Wall of Coe. Oh those were days, chaotic times, where a Dwarf could make a name for himself, or so I thought, but not in my wildest dreams did I think things would turn out this way.

A band of my fellow Dwarves decided to seek our fame and fortune. I jumped at the opportunity to see the world. The real reason was I was really a poor Dwarven fighter, I was not strong, dexterous, smart, wise or smart and a life in the coal mines did not seem very appealing. I knew I would always be second best in that situation. So I volunteered to join a band to do some reconnaissance outside the Wall of Coe. After much wailing and pummeling and wondering what I could actually do I was allowed to go.

Although I was not the best warrior, I could take a punch, actually a lot and that has been my prime trait ever since. I can take a serious beating and keep on going. Unluckily for the team, they let their bravado get the best of them and decided to attack some ogres. After the massacre, on both sides, I was the last one left standing. For some reason I was spared, I was pummeled, but somehow survived, it was the beginning of a long string of scraps, where I ended up being the last one standing. I guess that is how people become powerful, they just happen to be the last ones standing, it’s just in the luck of the draw I guess.

Claims to Fame

first record as an adventurer March 9, ’00
helps save Garden of Saint Eves October 3, ’00
helps save Venwald Sevenhauls October 25, ’00
earns one-time access to the Blue Valley December 1, ’00
helps kill Jackalclan December 12, ’00
earns permanent access to the Blue Valley by defeating a Vrock January 2, ’01
fights Anti-Paladins March 23, ’01
kills Freeze Miser May 2, ’01
defeats Maxwell & kills The Hag May 19, ’01
anointed Lord King Afton Barr June 14, ’01
communes with his deity June 21, ’01
communes with his deity (again) July 8, ’01
gains spells & creates Netherforge August 8, ’01
enters North Keep September 9, ’01
defeats Orc tribe after 1 day stand-off November 12, ’01
declares a week of mourning for Marcaun, the Unlucky November 21, ’01
“thumps” Balelakai January 13, ’02
Wished by Suraseth into the ocean September 21, ’02
helps Reincarnate Nakezin October 13, ’02
slays an Earth Elemental with Maxwell’s Silver Hammer January 26, ’03
battles Vampires at Pheeble’s Keep March 17, ’03
destroys Suraseth Cranenthaul with a Wish and the Orb of Good April 4, ’03
retrieve the Orb of Evil & the Crown of Good from Suraseth’s lair April 17, ’03
drives Orcs out of mines April 30, ’03
drives Gnolls out of woodlands May 3, ’03
drives Vampires out of Camden Castle (LKAB is the designated driver) June 14, ’03
gains 3 Wishes from the Efreet door
uses the 1st Wish to restore the levels he lost to a Vampire
looses his divine connection to his kingdom due to the machinations of the Devil’s Doorman
June 16, ’03
uses his 2nd Wish to collect his scattered allies into a force to battle the Faux-Orcus July 3, ’03
defeats the Faux-Orcus and his Orc army in the Battle of the Great Hall July 18, ’03
uses his 3rd (and last) Wish to restore his connection to his kingdom July 28, ’03
decapitates a Catoblepas October 11, ’03
kisses a toad, which turns back into a Hag October 15, ’03
loose Netherforge & Teor’s Helm October 17, ’03
retrieve Teor’s Helm October 18, ’03
get a Hammer & Anvil tattoo that will act as a permanent holy symbol November 2, ’03
arrive at Mythical Balzrarak November 7, ’03
gifted with the Kingly Robes November 17, ’03
visits the Temple of The Oracle on the Elemental Plane of Air & kills The Devil’s Doorman February 25, ’04
arrives at the Monastery of 1000 Steps March 10, ’04
helps defeat Brother Portencio in the Great Library March 15, ’04
enters Broinn na Máthar at the end of The Sparrow’s Reach April 23, ’04
frees the spirits of Desmond & Molly Jones from the sunken wreck of The Molly Jones April 30, ’04
helped slay Alderath in order to end the Yellow Death May 3, ’04
destroyed the Druid Lich’s Bone Golem in one hit
helped retrieve Snickersnack from Broinn na Máthar
May 7, ’04

Medical History Date
gets “thrashed” November 1, ’00
healed by the Healing Sword November 3, ’00
goes negative November 7, ’00
back up to “0” November 13, ’00
looses left arm December 9, ’00
goes into coma January 18, ’01
comes out of coma February 17, ’01
goes mute March 1, ’01
healed by the Healing Sword March 29, ’01
healed by the Healing Sword April 6, ’01
regenerated April 14, ’01
goes negative May 19, ’01
back up to “0” May 25, ’01
takes a killing blow from Ticker, but immediately healed by the Healing Sword May 27, ’01
receives a killing blow, but is immediately healed June 11, ’01
healed by the Healing Sword June 13, ’01
petrified to keep from bleeding to death September 11, ’01
saved by Bungalow Bill and Klelthorn Drake September 25, ’01
healed by the Healing Sword January 13, ’02
slain by an arrow, but immediately brought back to life with a Wish April 4, ’03
lost 2 levels to a Vampire June 13, ’03
regained levels with a Wish June 16, ’03
drowns, but revived by Aladdin September 26, ’03
pounded by Blink Hell Hounds October 7, ’03
loose an arm to a Dragon Turtle October 29, ’03
arm is regenerated November 8, ’03
looses an eye to a Giant Crab April 23, ’04

Lord King Afton Barr

Cranenthaul patrick_keane91